Love Against Time
by Hanachan130999
Summary: Tragedy envelops Kanoha, and people are left seeing ghosts. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. How do you heal a wound that encompasses who you are, or who you've become? kakairu-yaoi-mature rating for later chapters.
1. A Goodbye

**READ-IMPORTANT**

Author-ess: Hiya everyone! So, I was working a late night and listening to music. And wouldn't ya know, a song gave me certain inspiration. I feel I should mentally prepare myself for writing this… jeeze. As for actual notes, there are only a few. Every set of **ellipses** (...) indicates a time jump. Now these time jumps will vary in length and become more frequent as the story progresses to a point. But think of every passage you read between jumps as a memory (**that's important**). Also, although I'll imply it in the story, take note that before any of this occurs, our two favorite gentlemen have created a strong relationship. They are (in as corny a way of saying it) soul mates - evening each other out in every way & becoming the only person they can see themselves with. *girly sigh* So, here goes!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto :)

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"The finality of this is very important. You're the only one I can send to do this, Kakashi-san. I know you'll be able to handle things when they get hard." For the first time in the conversation, Tsunade let out a thoughtful (if not tired) sigh. She glanced toward the clock on her bookcase, noting the time to be nearly 1 o'clock in the morning and then glanced back to the jounin.

Kakashi's tense, erect position never faltered during the mission briefing, his stoic mask firmly in place as the Hokage informed him of every minute detail. Intensely trained shoulders sat perfectly square, legs crossed in front of him as he sat before the most important woman in Konoha. As challenging of a mission as it seemed, the silver haired shinobi knew that he'd make it through. There wasn't a doubt in his mind, but it still didn't stop his stomach from curling into tight knots, from needing to continuously monitor his heart rate, keeping it level and even. The emotionless face gazed back at Tsunade, not having said a word the entire time, but shouting in his own head. _It's not right…_

"I trust you won't let us down, Kakashi-san. You leave in the morning. Prepare as you see fit." the godaime finished, but as an afterthought added in a, "Good luck. We're counting on you." With that, Kakashi tersely nodded and stood to leave the room. Not wasting the time in travel, his hands flashed together through signs, and before blonde leader could blink, was gone in a puff of chakra smoke. Tsunade let out another long sigh, leaning an elbow on her desk and dropping her temple to her fingertips. _He can handle this… I know he can handle this. _She mentally assured herself.

Kakashi stood in his living room, eyes adjusting quickly to the darkness that enveloped him. Everything was in it's place, just like he'd left it. He glanced over books that were left strewn across his coffee table, noting recently graded academy homework scribbled on with red ink. Kneeling down to the table, he shuffled the papers into a neat pile and placed the books to their side. He didn't often need to, but it made him feel glad to be able to tidy up after his partner. They had grown to be so close in the long time they knew each other. A slightly forlorn expression tinged the jounin's face, as he knelt back up, instantly gazing toward the bookcase to the side of the room. Effortlessly he glided over the soft carpet and leaned down toward the shelves.

An immense collection of photographs in various frames covered nearly every shelf. So many photos taken with great smiles, happiness. He plucked one from it's spot and smiled softly. It was a picture of himself and Iruka at a new years festival a few years back. His favorite man had insisted that he throw an arm around Kakashi's shoulders, waving a stick of cotton candy in the opposite hand. Even then, the jounin had worn a pleased smile, arm wrapped around the brunette's waist. The tall shinobi placed the picture back down, gazing off at all of the memories they had collected over the years. They were memories captured in still frames, each one with an amazing story.

Forcing his smile to keep strong, he silently walked the hall to his bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and through the dark crack he could see the shinobi that had captured his heart in all of those photographs. Iruka lay snoring softly, legs tangled in bed sheets, grasping a pillow tightly in a sleeping bear hug. The silver haired shinobi felt the tinge of happiness in his heart grow stronger, and he smiled weakly. He knew just as well that happiness wasn't the only thing he felt, anxiety rushing his blood with fierce pumps.

Lightly he pushed the door further open, silently undressing down to his undergarments and slipped in close to his partner. There was a love for this person that Kakashi could swear he'd never felt with anyone else. The intensity of the feeling only progressing as he watched the sleeping shinobi, meek and helpless in his unaware state. As he leaned in closer to the sleeping brunette, he thought for a moment. His only desire was to wake up the poor man, to hug the life from his body, to convey some semblance of what he felt through physicality.

It didn't take too much thought to succumb to his desire. Softly Kakashi leaned his arms around the man, plucking the pillow that he grasped to his chest. In a muted tone he whispered to Iruka, nudging his partner delicately with his nose, "Ru, wake up. Open your eyes, love."

Iruka nuzzled closer to the jounin, mumbling unintelligible words into the warm chest before him. Again the silver haired shinobi gently shook his partner, whispering for the man to open his eyes. Slowly one eye cracked open, bleary from sleep. The other eye sluggishly followed, trying to focus the gaze anywhere.

"Mreh… whu-what? Kashi, what's wrong?" the chunin stumbled over the syllables, voice husky from sleep.

"Nothing, love. Wake up for me, I need to talk to you." was the reply.

The brunette turned his head to look up toward Kakashi's voice, smiling some as he felt the arms around him tighten into a warm embrace. He rubbed a sleep filled eye, yawning loudly. The jounin's chest rumbled deeply, a chuckle forming at his partner's inattentiveness. Reaching a hand under the chunin's chin, the older man lifted his gaze to his own. After placing a kiss on the lips in front of him, Kakashi spoke in a hushed tone, "Ru, I have to go on a mission in the morning. I know you're tired now, but I wanted you to know I love you. I probably won't be here when you wake up."

Nodding some, Iruka leaned his head on strong shoulders as the grip around him tightened for just a moment. Sleep hazed his tone as he responded, "I love you too Kashi. Come home safe, I'll miss you, ya know."

With that, Kakashi felt his stomach knots tighten, a dry lump forming in his throat as he nodded. "I'll be safe."

"Promise?" the sleepy chunin half mumbled the question.

"I promise I'll be safe for you. Don't worry Ru, everything will be alright." The jounin swallowed the dryness in his throat, almost croaking at the last words.

Sleep quickly enveloped the tired man, gripping to Kakashi weakly as his head bobbed back down to his pillow. The silver haired shinobi exhaled a long breath he hadn't realized he was holding. With a soft kiss to Iruka's forehead, the man leaned back to his pillow, letting his eyes fall closed, the dark prickles of sleep pulling him under. _It will be alright._

When morning came, Iruka woke up alone. The sharp blare of sunlight hitting his eyes immediately as they opened. He squinted some, turning his head away from the stinging to glance at the clock on Kakashi's nightstand. It was only 6:32 in the morning, but remembering the hazy conversation last night assured the chunin that his love had already left for the mission he'd been assigned. Slowly rolling over to glance at the empty spot that shouldn't have been so cold that early in the morning, he noticed a small piece of yellow paper. He smiled softly as he read what it said. "Be safe. I love you, always will. -Kashi." His chest warmed as he thought of his one and only true love. Letting the warm feeling wash over him, the chunin laid back down into the rumpled covers, letting the slight smell of his other half envelop him. _Come home soon._

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Author-ess: Yo! So that's it for the moment. Of course, not for lack of motivation or knowing what to write. but it's nearly 4am, I just worked a full shift and I've been up since 11 yesterday. So sue me :) That's the first blurb. Not sure how long the story will actually be. But I anticipate myself really (and I mean really) liking this one. Chapters will probably get longer as well. Hope you enjoyed! Keep tuned in, and I may just surprise ya! love love love!


	2. A Darkness

Author-ess: So, that first chap was a little shaky, but I'll clean 'em up. This one's a bit longer. You'll notice the time jumps begin in this chapter. I'll mention the time frame between each jump (just to keep things clear) Just a reminder: ellipsis (…) mean a time jump. Sorry for the late updates, my days blur together a lot. This chap was brought on by the song _A Lack of Color _by _Deathcab For Cutie_. (just to set the tone)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto :)

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**...**(It's been nearly 2 and a half months since Kakashi was sent on his mission)

Another bright day invited a very chipper brunette through the front doors of his partner's apartment. He took a sidelong glance across the living room, making sure everything was in it's proper place before he grasped the door handle firmly and threw the door open to the world. It was a beautiful spring day. The warmth of the rising sun tingled the chunin's cheeks as he smiled, letting the feeling envelop him. The beauty of everything in bloom, of bright spring green chutes and sprouts everywhere was amazing and refreshing. A light breeze wafted the scent and sound of a busy town all around Iruka.

But before his moment in reveling was over, there was an unimaginably loud screech that broke the silence. The man flinched at the sound, feeling his contentment drain a bit at the intrusion. Glancing up at the point of emanation, the chunin flinched again. Sitting on the edge of the apartment's roof was a very large, very wiry looking black bird. The crow crawed again, cocking it's head to the side, staring at Iruka adamantly.

Feeling a slight unease in the situation, the brunette sidestepped, closing and locking the door behind himself. He gave the crow a large birth, swiveling around as he backed down the front steps slowly. Stretching it's wings out slightly, the bird straightened it's position, still gazing down at the nervous man. Another seemingly earth shattering '_CRAW_' erupted from the crow as it stretched it's wings out entirely, stepping from side to side anxiously. Iruka cringed, his feet landing on the bottom step and then to the sidewalk. He clutched his school bag to his side, as he eyed the large black bird, slowly speeding up in the direction of the academy.

With a last indignant '_CRAW_', the bird flapped powerful wings, jettisoning itself into the air and swooping down in the direction of the mildly scared chunin. It flew just three feet overhead before another powerful flap sent it flying off into the sky.

Iruka watched the bird fly away, his eyes still wide with panic as he let out a long, haggard breath. _That was really bizarre… _He thought to himself, again beginning his pace toward the academy. He rubbed at his temple, letting his grasp on his school bag ease from the death grip he'd had. "Nasty little things…" The chunin whispered to himself, before he let out another slightly shaky breath. He felt something prickling in the pit of his stomach, something he wasn't familiar with. A certain dread cast over his mood as he picked up his pace toward the academy, lest the vile bird catch up with him on his way.

Beyond that incident though, today was just as any other day was. Bright and beautiful in it's own way. Smiling Konoha citizens passed the teacher by, giving their regards to the man as they followed their own path. And that was the way it was. That was the way it had been for nearly three months now. Iruka would get out of bed in the mornings on school days and get ready at Kakashi's place (as that's where the majority of his stuff resided although he had his own apartment on the other side of town). He would drink some tea in his usual manner, pack up his school bag and head to the academy for another day of ruthless children with sharp weapons that didn't fully grasp the danger of the shinobi life. After that, he'd head to the mission's office to help out. He'd offered to do more shifts for Tsunade, seeing as how he had now gotten back a large portion of time that he had nothing in particular to do with. It was a nice distraction, if not a little agitating with all of the shinobi that continuously gave him new reasons for headaches.

On weekends, he made a point to get together with Naruto (who'd become more like an adoptive little brother to him) and they would go out to eat, to train, or just to laze about. It wasn't unlike any other time Kakashi had gone on another mission, although Iruka admitted to himself that this one was taking a bit longer than usual. But he didn't doubt that one of these days he'd be at what had become their apartment, and there in the doorway would be his love, home and tired and wanting nothing more than Iruka's arms (and perhaps a hot shower).

Every night the chunin would huddle into the sheets that held so many memories in the apartment that held so many memories, and write small quips in the journal that he kept at his bedside. That journal saved him a lot of stress, just being able to pour out his thoughts onto the blank pages in Kakashi's stead. He wrote to both himself and his partner, stories of days events, his feelings, how much he missed his lover. And he felt better after being able to write everything down. He knew that after Kakashi got home and settled, he'd let the jounin read over the passages, careful not to miss a thing, just as they had been doing for so long before that.

Iruka continued his quick pace, almost habitually knowing where every road turned and every path led to as he thought. It had been nearly 4 years since he and his partner had begun their relationship together. 4 years since that awkward situation with a bet and the night of romance brought on by it. A slight blush tinged the man's cheeks as he thought on it. It was really amazing to see just how much both of them had grown over time. How much everyone had grown, really. Kakashi's Team 7 had grown by leaps and bounds in the past few years. Naruto had grown into a beautiful young man. Very energetic still, but knowledge hidden in his features, in his eyes. Iruka marveled at the thought that he'd seen this baby grow into a young man so quickly. Time seemed to disappear, replaced by memory upon memory. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he threw an arm over his head, resting his hand on the back of his neck. Today was going to be a good day. He was sure of it.

Glancing up, the chunin realized he'd already made it to the academy doors. He was so lost in his thoughts, he'd barely noticed that he'd already drew out his assignment pad to review today's work, pushing past the large double doors into the building. With a resounding clatter, the brunette let his notepad fall to hardwood table, and his bag to his side, sitting quietly behind his desk. There, scrawled in half legible chicken scratch was his handwriting. _Work to develop team dynamics - kunai and senbon second half. -Develop strategy_. Reaching his hands up to rub his face gently, he thought to himself. _Oh here comes another day… I should prepare the medical kit…_

**...**(after classes begin to let out)

And just as the teacher had thought, the med. kit had been needed for today. He stood wearily at the front of his class, gazing down at battered hands. He had made sure that the kunai that he'd led the class with were too dull to do major damage to anything, but he still had a few bandages that were necessary after the students had begun to have too much fun. Thus was the life of an academy teacher. Weary bones and hyper-tense muscles in check, the chunin packed up assignments to be graded into his bag and drudged quietly out of his classroom.

He strode out onto the sidewalk, glancing toward the Hokage tower and the monument just past it as he began his hike across town yet again. It was a few minutes before he got his bearings just right and a smile perked up his tired features. Off he was to brave the treacherous mission's office. He couldn't help but feel a nagging in the back of his mind. As if he'd forgotten something curiously important. But seeing as how nothing seemed to strike him just at that moment, he let the feeling ease away. It was probably just his weary muscles and mind trying to push away what the lessons today had brought.

Clutching a pen tightly in his right hand, the brunette waved down a tall, well built jounin. The man gruffly scratched at his beard, a wisp of smoke streaming out as he snorted in a hello to the chunin. A big smile drawn on his face as he handed the young man in front of him a crinkled paper, splattered in small tea stains. "Evening, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka glanced down at the paper, easing a hand out to grasp it lightly. A small smile fell upon his face as he eyed the jounin in front of him. "Asuma, I'm glad you came in on time. And it's a bit surprising to see that your mission report isn't damaged beyond repair."

The grizzly jounin let out a hearty laugh as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, yeah. You've got a mean right hook, Iruka-sensei. I guess that was persuasion enough to get me to take care of things."

The chunin's smile grew wider, shuffling the paper in his hand into a pile on his right as he replied, "I am sorry about that. I don't know what came over me, but I had no idea what was smeared all over your last report."

The jounin let out another laugh, plucking his cigarette from his mouth and waving a hand dismissively. "It's fine. I was asking for it, after all. Even I don't remember quite what was on that last mission report, or what happened to it before it got to you."

Iruka chuckled lightly, and with a nod and a smile watched the jounin retreat back to the door, stopping a few times to make idle conversation to others that filed in and out of the room. The night continued on slowly, not without an outburst here or there. The occasional fight broke out between idle jounin, waiting their turns to either get missions or hand in reports. Nothing unusual about the hectic in and out of the room. That is, until an obnoxiously loud laugh emanated from the hall, jarring Iruka from his paperwork.

The brunette glanced up toward the door, knowing that familiar laugh anywhere. And before anyone else could register the sound, in bound Konoha's most energetic shinobi. And with a loud outburst, the entire room fell silent.

"IRUKA-SENSEI!"

Iruka's lips parted some as he watched the teen leap forward in a few bounds to his desk, and throw his hands down, a massive cheeky grin covering his face. The chunin noted the quiet murmur of apologies behind the blonde and watched a thin pink, haired woman walk in after the orange ball of energy. Sakura was there as well. It seemed curious to the man that both of his former students should come into the office at once, and immediately he was thrown off. Was there something wrong?

"Naruto, if you're waiting to get a mission, I suggest you wait in line like everyone else." the brunette man chided lightly.

Gingerly fingering his chin, the blonde thought for a moment and then replied, "Oi, Iruka-sensei… I came here to get you. Tsunade baa-chan wants us all in her office."

Sakura came to stand to the side of her teammate, nodding in agreement. "Hello Iruka-sensei!" she chirped.

The chunin's eyes came to rest on the pair and he frowned slightly, eyes narrowing, "What's going on, you two?"

In response, Naruto gave a cheeky grin and nudged Sakura in the side as she shrugged toward her former teacher.

"I honestly don't know, Iruka-sensei. Lady Tsunade didn't give us an explanation either, she just sent word for us to meet with her. All of us." she clarified for the man.

The brunette's brow furrowed in thought, but he stood, noting to a petit black haired woman to his side to take over at the desk. With that, the chunin stood from the desk and casually stepped around it, accompanying both Sakura and Naruto out the door. The latter of which continued on with rambunctious stories of what had been happening for the past week. It dawned on the man that it was already Friday, and the week had passed in a blur. He listened to the boy speak on and on about various trainings and Gai-sensei (who had taken to teaching the young man in Kakashi's absence). Naruto almost had the perfect impression of Gai down, as he threw a thumbs up in the air and made a dramatic pose, chattering something about the springtime of youth. Both Sakura and Iruka chuckled as they all grouped together again, ascending the staircase that led to the Hokage's office. The brunette drew his young blonde friend close with an arm around his shoulders, smiling and continuing the conversation until they had all reached the end of that particular hall.

Two ANBU guards glanced between the three, one nodding some as they pushed one door to the Hokage's office open a crack, whispering something inside. In a motion of both guards, the three shinobi were beckoned inside of the room, and beyond the door, Tsunade sat perched before a mound of paperwork that nearly hid her features entirely. She stood to greet the trio, smiling and motioning them to take a seat in front of her.

Naruto was the first to sit down, plopping into the chair furthest to the right, Iruka sat in the center and Sakura quietly seated herself to the left. The godaime appraised the three, looking each one up and down carefully before she stood. Silently exhaling a drawn out breath, she gathered a few papers and stepped to round the desk, leaning back on it lightly in front of the three.

Naruto chimed in spiritedly as the silence drew for a few moment, "Baa-chan, what's so important, ne?"

Sakura scowled toward the teen and then added in a soft voice, "Yes, Tsunade-sama, as not to say that we don't love seeing you. But I'm a bit confused as to why we were all summoned as well."

The buxom woman shifted on her desk a touch, her shoulders beginning to tense as she eyed the quiet man before her. Iruka hadn't made a sound, his face void of any real expression beyond curiosity in his eyes. She felt her stomach tighten as she spoke, but kept her voice steady, calming.

"I'm glad you've all come here today, glad to see you're all well."

There was a momentary pause.

"I'd love to say that the reason I brought you all here was just to catch up, but I'm afraid that isn't true."

Iruka visibly tensed some, shifting on his seat as he leaned into the woman, trying to read her behavior -all of which signaled a red flag in his mind. Uncomfortable at the next pause, both Naruto and Sakura edged a little closer in, leaning on their armrests. Their eyes watched the Third Hokage closely.

She parted her lips to speak again, this time taking a very timid tone, "Something awful has happened…"

All eyes were on her right at that moment, the three shinobi tentatively easing their breaths to a halt. Not one stirred from their position, eyes locked to hear just what had happened.

Tsunade pressed her lips together into a fine line before she continued. "As all three of you know, Hatake Kakashi was sent on an important mission just under three months ago."

_No.. oh no… Do I want to hear this? _Iruka thought to himself, his brow knitting some.

"I'm afraid he's failed. It was just too much for him…"

With that, Iruka stood immediately, grief in his voice, which cracked as soon as he spoke, "W-Where is he? I want to see him. Is he hurt?"

Both Naruto and Sakura stood with unease, both showing clear concern on their faces. The young blonde rubbed his arm up and down as he listened further, his stomach knotting some.

Tsunade continued, her eyes only on the chunin as she spoke. "No, you can't. He didn't make it back, Iruka."

The brunette's fist clenched, his face distorted with emotions. Rage, terror, grief -all struck him at once. His throat closed, constricting his breathing as he tried to swallow the rough knot that had materialized in his esophagus.

With visibly misty eyes, Sakura inquired almost inaudibly, "W-what do you m-mean?"

"It was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance mission, he was just supposed to observe. He traveled to the land of water, and…" Tsunade broke off for a moment, and redirected her explanation at the two younger shinobi. "We have received reports that his body was found horribly disfigured, tortured… No-one thought this could happen…"

Iruka's body froze, he felt nothing though his hand gripped so hard his nails left visible abrasions in his skin, dripping a bit of blood. He couldn't hear anymore, Tsunade's soft drone muting as he watched Naruto and Sakura continue the conversation. He watched the scene, feeling detached from his own body, the blurry images of the three shinobi before him slowly loosing focus. He couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't move. The brunette felt as though he were swimming in his own head, dizzy and nauseous. Tremors shook the man as he felt himself take a step forward, unconsciously reaching out to someone. His eyes whirled in an array of colors before he felt a sharp sting fill his frame, and he couldn't see the world anymore. Everything went black, everything felt black.

Naruto jumped to his companion's side, hissing as he reached out to the man's forehead. There a large gash gushed blood onto the carpet. In his fevered attempt to reach out to anyone, Iruka had fallen from what was obviously lack of balance and cracked his head open on the desk just to Tsunade's right. Being so thoroughly involved in the discussion, no-one had noticed the chunin take a step forward, or take the fall until it was too late. Sakura was sobbing softly, kneeling down to Iruka, tears rolling down her reddened cheeks. Naruto bent down to gently pull the limp frame of his old sensei up into his lap, feeling his pulse continue, slow and steady.

Tsunade was the last to move, whispering for the two of them to follow her to the hospital. Iruka would need time to rest, time to think... just time. And so, the two teens lifelessly mourned both their sensei's passing and Iruka's fall in the emergency room of Konoha's hospital. Tsunade had left to personally see to Iruka's care. The busy hustle of everyone in the emergency room was off-putting, the noise and panic of everyone just droning into a constant hum.

Though he couldn't open his eyes, Iruka noticed the change in noises, the change of pressures against his body, the feel of cold hospital sheets and warm hands on his skin. Continuous thought eluded the injured brunette, but all he could feel was dread, something horrible that threatened to rip him apart. And the more he wavered through consciousness, the more he came to the realization that something was ripping him apart. A burning pain in his chest left him hollow, lost in the blackness. There he pushed against the void, searching for something, anything to pull him from the brink of losing himself to it. But nothing came, there was no-one there to save him. Iruka let himself drift into the blackness, void of any life, letting the feeling of bleak dread wash over him. Maybe it was better that way.

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Author-ess: Okay, okay. Stop your frowning, you knew just as well as I did that something bad was going to happen... Can't deny it. And if this chapter makes ya wanna stop reading, I don't blame ya. There's a lot of bad... I mean a lot more bad, before things level out and get better. If ya stick with it, I give ya a hearty pat on the back. As for actual notes, not sure if ya caught it, but there was a _The Crow_ reference in there. (one of my favorite movies and graphic novels) Basically the crow itself being a messenger from the afterlife. Also might have hinted that one of my earlier stories, the oneshot could be tied into this whooooole thing... funny how that goes. Three parts of the same story, I suppose. But really, listen to that song I mentioned in the first A/N, it gives ya a feel for how these next chapters will be emotionally (along with other song inspiration). Thanks for being patient, and of course love love n more love


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